Whether you’re building a house or remodeling one, you need a blueprint. A blueprint helps you verify that the design is accurate. When it comes to manhood, did you know that there’s a blueprint for true manhood? There is! And it’s found, of course, in God’s Word.
Heed this warning: “But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash” (Matthew 7:26-27, NIV).
To build true manhood into your life, you’ve got to follow what the Bible says. But God has given you a free will. True manhood doesn’t just happen to you—you must choose true manhood, and keep choosing it. There are two choices the Bible says you need to make.
First, you must be the hands, feet, and eyes of Jesus.
Jesus never touched a woman in a way that dishonored her. Never. Nor did He ever think about a woman in a way that sexualized her. There’s a form of adultery Jesus mentions in Matthew 5:27-28, and that is thinking about a woman sexually when you are not married to her. Therefore, you need to follow the example that Jesus sets for you—even if it goes against your sinful nature.
“Sure, it may be natural for a male to look, but you are a warrior, called to crucify your lowest nature.”—Steve Arterburn
If Jesus, fully God and fully man, never looked at a woman lustfully, He sets the standard high for you to follow as a man. But, you can’t do it in your power. After you trusted Christ for your salvation, He didn’t leave you alone—you were given the Holy Spirit. It is through the power of His indwelling presence that you can be a warrior. Step into manhood; live adventurously. However, make sure you treat every woman that you encounter as Jesus would.
Second, you must make a covenant with your eyes.
Job was a man with similar desires as yours, and he was a godly man. He was so committed to not lusting after a woman that he made a covenant with his eyes (see Job 31:1). Did Job really make a promise with his eyes not to gaze upon a woman, even if she’s very attractive? Yes, absolutely! If Job made this covenant and kept it, so can you!
By making a covenant, you are drawing a line in the sand. Making a covenant means making a promise to God and yourself. Even better, write down your specific promise—to not lust after a woman. If you are married, make this commitment to your wife.
What if you’re tempted? As long as you don’t give in and gawk at a woman, that’s okay. Here’s a tip: “One way is by having a mantra. We reprogram the processes running in the background. My mantra is, ‘there’s nothing I need, guaranteed.’ So when I walk into Starbucks and an attractive woman is in line, and I tell myself this mantra.”—Jason Martinkus
Choosing true manhood takes a blueprint, and this blueprint involves work. Are you willing to be the hands, feet, and eyes of Jesus? Will you make a covenant with your eyes? If you haven’t already made these choices, don’t put it off any longer! You are laying a solid foundation for your life and—ultimately—your relationships. So, when temptation comes (and it will), you will be able to withstand the storm.