Sexual addiction is chaotic. There is no way around it: a life of feeding and hiding one’s addiction is pure, unadulterated chaos. It could be the time and energy spent on keeping the depths of one’s pornography addiction from a wife or girlfriend. It may be the consistent lying to church leadership about an extramarital affair or regular visits to strip clubs. Whether the scope of sexual acting out is perceived to be “big” or “small” in the eyes of the struggling addict, the end result is always one of disarray.
When someone struggling in this way begins to start their recovery journey, they quickly realize that one of the keys to maintaining sexual sobriety is finding a place of inner peace on a daily basis. This will look different for each person, but it starts by taking a few minutes out of one’s busy schedule to find a place of gentle quietness in their inner life.
It is in this very resting place that one can begin to “experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand” (Philippians 4:7, NLT). It is also the place where the voice of the Holy Spirit comforts and challenges one’s soul. Once someone finds this place of true peace with the Lord in their mind and heart, they can return to it whenever they’d like.
It is far too often that those in recovery rush forward to the next thought, activity, task, or assignment without pondering the moment. Some stay absorbed in completing project after project because seeking a quiet, reflective experience appears impossible. Even during times of prayer, their minds often drift to upcoming events and responsibilities. This constant activity simply becomes a means of distraction—an attempt to avoid thinking about the difficulties they’re trying to overcome.
What they don’t realize, however, is that such behavior actually causes them to miss out on experiencing the calm in the chaos that God truly desires for them. This results in not only missing physiological rest, but also important times of spiritual discernment and wisdom.
There are many moments of calm that someone in recovery can participate in each day. They can sit in their favorite chair and simply meditate on a few of the blessings God has given to them. Or, they can write their thoughts down in a journal, learning to enjoy the process of identifying their feelings. They can even listen to a song that makes them feel safe and comfortable. Whatever method they choose, they’re free to spend this time however they like. This time is not meant to create more busy activity, but to learn to experience the calm in the chaos from the man-made world of striving and scheduling.
A licensed Christian counselor can help someone recovering from sexual addiction learn to find these times of rest with God. Learning to slow down and enjoy the moment is vital to recovery from the chaos of addiction.
