A love-hate relationship is like riding a rollercoaster. The upside is that it can make a person feel as if they love the other person very much; the downside is that they may feel anger, resentment, or bitterness toward the same person. Almost everyone has been in a love-hate relationship with someone they loved but also intensely hated—whether it was their parents, spouses, siblings, bosses, rebellious children, neighbors, or friends.
What draws someone into a love-hate relationship? During their early years, they probably had chaotic relationships. As a result, they tend to find solace in the instability of love-hate relationships since they are familiar with it and may use conflict as an expression of love. The closeness after the resolution following a rupture in the relationship can make them feel more intimate.
There isn’t an easy way to navigate the ups and downs of a love-hate relationship. Some changes are necessary. The problem, however, is that too many people go on—day after day—merely coping with the situation. Either they’re unaware they can do more than cope or are unwilling to do it. What if it’s an abusive relationship that is unsafe? In that case, separating or breaking off the relationship altogether is best.
However, doing nothing is not an option. When nothing changes, nothing changes. In a love-hate relationship, one may even lose faith in the power of God to change the situation and give up on the power of prayer to facilitate change.
A person stuck in a love-hate relationship must not give up. They must trust God to change the situation by asking Him to. In addition to prayer, they must remember another crucial step to take: They must act. Romans 12:18 says, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”
Here are some steps to take to facilitate change in a love-hate relationship:
- Make safety a priority.
- Identify unhealthy patterns.
- Set boundaries.
- See a counselor.
- Join a Life Recovery Group.
- Confront in love.
- Deal with unresolved emotions.
Remember, it is essential to prioritize one’s well-being and make the best decision for oneself. While a love-hate relationship can be intense, it is not worth sacrificing one’s mental and emotional health.
– Steve Arterburn
