You have a battle, you have your battle plan and in order to stay ‘in the fight‘ for the long haul and be successful, part of the plan is connecting with others. For most of us, we may have the hunger and desire to connect, but struggle with HOW we do that, especially when we’re surrounded by temptation.
It’s rather ironic that the Internet is about connecting people to each other, and it can be such a great tool for doing just that. But like any powerful tools, its purpose can be corrupted to the opposite extreme. Yet so many people have found isolation and avoidance of interpersonal connections through the Internet. It’s amazing how subtle and desirable a substitute for the real can be.
So, how do we go about making quality connection so that we can fight being in the battle alone?
One of the first questions you must ask is: ‘Who is safe?‘ The problem is that for many of us, we don’t even know what the word ‘safe‘ means in regards to relationships. Professionals, who are bound by confidentiality, are usually safe. But there are many others, too. To understand what makes for safety in a relationship that will move you toward health and healing, think of a safe place. A place where you place valuable things and know they will stay protected. You’ll want to apply this same principle to your struggle. Look for who you can tell the ‘good, bad, and ugly‘ stories to and be assured that they will stay ‘safe!‘
It’s by communicating these personal stories that each of us can find freedom from many of the lies that the enemy of our soul would have us believe about ourselves.
Another important question is ‘What do you say to your safe person?‘ Being connected to someone for accountability and vulnerability means that they will be free to ask questions of you, they will know your weaknesses and be supportive as you continue your recovery journey. To help make the accountability connection work for you, ask your safe person if they will do the following:
Call you every day (or every other day) and ask these questions:
- ‘How you are feeling?’’ Be honest in your answer, it will take time to feel free to open up.
- ‘What do you have planned today to build the life God wants for you?’
- ‘Who or what are you resenting, angry with?’
- ‘Where do you feel out of control?’
- ‘Where is the greatest point of desperation in your life?’
- ‘Where are you experiencing God’s love and grace?’
Connecting with someone who will ask you these questions and encourage you in your life’s journey will change your life. Finding safe people who are trustworthy takes time. Begin by praying for God’s direction, make connections with people by meeting for coffee and just having conversation. You can let them know that you are looking to grow in your walk with God through redemptive relationships. And remember, people are imperfect and the safe person will also be imperfect. Proverbs 18:24 reads “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Our prayer for you is to find true connection which will be a very crucial part of fulfilling your battle plan.