How would you answer the question, “Am I doing all I can in my recovery today?” If you answer a resounding “YES”, then skip down to the closing paragraph. You’re probably due a reward!
On the other hand, if you find yourself reframing that question to “Am I doing what others perceive as me trying – whether or not it is the most I can do?”, then read on. You may be struggling to maintain sobriety and not living into full recovery.
Intention, no matter how good, misleads an individual to think he is on the right path when he really is not. Personal finance is an area not typically openly discussed; yet, most acting out behaviors take money. Without money, a sexually compulsive man cannot purchase the means to feed his addiction. But expanding recovery behaviors to include finances can play an important role in the journey to health.
Just think of the full amount your acting out behaviors cost you. The purchase of pornography, phone sex, and prostitutes constitutes a direct type of expense. But don’t overlook the indirect costs like guilt offerings, (gifts to cover your shame), legal fees, and child support, and much more. If you add the time lost while acting out as an earning opportunity, the overall cost can be phenomenal. One member of a therapy group estimated his cost to be half a million dollars!
Using this adjusted thinking to put the most into your recovery, here are some suggestions for being financially ‘sober’ on your recovery journey.
First — set up financial accountability with a peer in recovery.
- Only use checks or a debit or credit card, and have your accountability partner review the bank or credit company statement each month
- Disclose to both your spouse (if married) and accountability partner all sources of your income
- Delete any hiding places for extra cash
- Don’t carry much cash with you
Being open and honest with your finances is part of living in recovery!
Second — budget for your recovery by establishing a specific line item in your planned expenditures.
- Some things to consider might include:
- Individual and/or couples counseling
- Men’s small coaching groups
- Written, audio, and video addiction and recovery resources
- Additional workshops for continued support and connection with the larger recovery community
- Giving to help others in their journey of recovery
You spent money on your addiction. Now why not spend money on your health and healing? Doing whatever it takes with your finances will kick your recovery into high gear. The money you both earn and save will be a blessing, as you will be able to reward your sobriety with appropriate gifts at significant milestones.
When you are in recovery- every part of your life will be affected. That is the hope of a new future of freedom!
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him” Philippians 2:13