Every wife (including yours) wants her husband to be her hero. Becoming her hero, however, is another matter. It takes some steps and learning some skills. There are 6 steps you need to take—and master—to become your wife’s hero.
- Think Before You Speak.
Male brains have thoughts…lots of them. Most of them, though, should not be said out loud. Proverbs 17:28 (NLT) puts it this way, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.” Before you say something you might regret, pause for a second and ask yourself, “Am I going to regret this later?” If you might regret it, don’t say it.
- Speak Life.
As a husband, if you’re not saying inspirational words to your wife, you’re missing out on a tremendous opportunity to become her hero. By staying in your shell or saying demanding/demeaning things to your wife, it will hurt—if not ruin—your marriage. Your wife may withdraw, become resentful or bitter, lash out in anger, and lose sexual interest. A better way is to say positive words of affirmation to her. Here are some examples:
“You look so pretty today.”
“I am so grateful for you.”
“You have a beautiful heart.”
- Pay Attention to the Details.
Small things you do for your wife can lead to big results. Think of small acts of kindness that you can do for her every day. Perhaps you can make her favorite cup of coffee or breakfast and bring it to her in bed. Or, surprise her at work by taking her out to lunch at her favorite restaurant. No matter what, listen to her talk and share her heart.
- Be Affectionate—But not like THAT!
Your greatest need may be for sex. But one of your wife’s greatest needs is for non-sexual touch. Yes, that’s right! Non-sexual touch. Here are a few fun ways to accomplish that: Hold hands, kiss her on the cheek, give her a back rub, and play footsies with her at a restaurant. All of these are ways to communicate that you love and cherish her.
- Let Go of Your Ego.
Were you taught as a child that men are tough? No doubt, you probably were. But to win your wife’s heart and be a hero to her, you’ll need humility. Humility isn’t about weakness; it’s about strength. First, let go of your ego and pride. Proverbs 11:2 says, “Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Letting go of your pride makes you more likable to others around you. Second, talk about your struggles. Let your wife and accountability partner (if you have one) know about your current issues.
- Shepherd Your Wife’s Heart.
If you conquer all of the above but neglect to shepherd your wife’s heart, you’re missing one of the most important areas of your marriage—God! The role of the shepherd is to look over the flock entrusted to him. Be diligent to go to church, pray with your wife and by yourself, and read the Bible.
Once you take these steps and develop the skills along with it, you will start to look more and more like the hero your wife longs for you to be.