Marital adjustment is a simple matter. Before marriage, you command your ship of life based upon the personal convictions of one person—you. After marriage you board the USS Matrimony. You are now dealing with the personal convictions of two people. It’s something you must quickly learn to deal with.
Humility is essential to create and maintain unity on board. It requires a mind-set that honors your partner.
So, what’s riding on this? Quite a lot, namely, oneness and intimacy. If you learn the art of servant-leadership, the sailing will be much smoother.
Yes, you may have a compliant spouse who’ll tolerate your less than humble ways. But in such cases, outer calmness is usually the result of an inner deadness in the marital relationship, not oneness and intimacy.
Without a humble spirit and a willingness to serve one another, you may have peace, you may have marital longevity, and you may even appear to have a marriage made in heaven. But you won’t have a relationship based on intimacy, there will be road-side wounded, if not casualties, along the way.
I can’t urge you strongly enough in your marriage to commit yourselves to a life of humbly serving your spouse.
– Steve Arterburn
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. – Beverly Nichols