Men in the farming communities of yesteryear counted on one another for everything. They helped one another build barns, retrieve stray animals, teach and mentor children, even bury and grieve deceased loved ones. The very survival and success of their community depended on the mutual caring and support of the men in it.
But today’s man has been programmed to believe that caring and supportive relationships are largely the domain of women. In fact, men often look with suspicion at other men with close male friends. Yet in order to meet basic emotional needs, which are both authentically human and masculine, men need deep, caring relationships with other men.
A man who doesn’t have at least one other man he can be accountable to regarding his failures, hurts, and temptations is a prime target for masculine anger. The angry man in our society is caught between mythical masculinity and true masculinity. He feels pressure to achieve, earn, conquer, and win—and to do these things as a “Lone Ranger.” Yet he also feels the need to love and nurture those he loves, and to be loved and nurtured by those who love him.
Too often a man’s attempts to reconcile these pressures are futile. Consequently, many men remain perpetually torn between invincibility and vulnerability, between being aloof and being involved.
But men, take heart! Exposing myths and identifying problems is a tremendous move toward healing! Getting connected and staying actively engaged with an accountability partner, with men in a Sustained Victory group, or with a Life Recovery Group in your area will keep you moving in the direction of healing and wholeness in the days ahead.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. (James 5:16)
