The Blame Game

Many men struggling with sexual integrity issues are well practiced in the blame game. I know I was good at it during my addiction and, unfortunately, sometimes still struggle with playing it. It’s so easy! We simply pawn off our responsibility and make someone or something else the culprit. In my addiction I blamed my wife for my indiscretions. As if somehow more sexual intimacy with my wife would change my acting out. Ha! Not a chance. I blamed a mistress for hitting on me. Her fault, not mine. I blamed traveling for work for my duplicity. The internet for my porn addiction. Our hyper-sexualized culture for my sexualized emotions. The devil made me do it. My dog ate my homework too.

Did you know nothing will change until we take responsibility for our actions?

The reality is that for anything to be different, for our marriages to be restored, for our addictions to be healed, for our faith to grow, for our sanctification to continue we have to be the person to point to. We must stand in front of the mirror and accept that the man we see is the only person on the planet who has the power to change us. Then we must accept that without relying on God not much will ultimately change. Take responsibility then lean on God; it’s a pretty good formula.

So, I hope you’ll stop the blame game. Let people off the hook and decide it starts with you. Today.



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Jason Martinkus

About Jason Martinkus

After sexual addiction almost took his life and his marriage, he began the recovery process and by the grace of God is now a free man. He was called out of the corporate world and into the ministry where today his personal mission is to help other men understand, prevent, and break free from sexual sin. As an EMB program director he speaks at events monthly, leads Sustained Victory groups, and trains leaders to help other men. Jason received his Masters Degree in Counseling from Denver Seminary and currently has a private practice in Denver, Colorado.

One thought on “The Blame Game

  1. My sister’s husband has an addiction to pornography and blames it entirely on her. She believes he’s begun to act out w/other women now. They have three children (one of who has significant special needs) who are suffering from the conflict and sadness in their home. My sister wants to leave him. Please pray that her husband gets help. This family will be broken if he isn’t willing to change. Please pray. Thank you! God Bless you all.

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