The Right Fight

Don’t pick a fight without reason, when no one has done you harm. – Proverbs 3:30

There’s an old saying, “You don’t have to go to every fight you are invited to.” Over your lifetime, you will be invited to plenty! Disagreements and fights are unavoidable. But how you manage them will make all the difference.

You might be someone who is more of a fighter, someone who identifies the wrong immediately and needs to make it right. When a fight stays focused on making things better or correcting injustice, that’s good. But keep in mind that being “right” is a perspective, and yours might not be right. This is why conversations break down and relationships sometimes fail—we cannot always see the other person’s viewpoint.

If you are always determined to be right, you will find yourself in more fights than other people do. Sometimes you might not realize that your stubbornness is actually the problem, that you have a strong need to be right. Ask yourself a few questions: Do I have to have the last word in a discussion? Do I feel unheard in heated discussions, like I have to explain again or give the “facts” another way? Do I tend to rehash the conversation later with a friend or loved one to verify I’m “really” right?

If this sounds like you, it’s time to fight the need-to-beright fight. And if you recognize that your need to be right might be connected to a root of anger, begin to work on discernment as well as your approach. Many situations in life will need your “fight” for the right cause or outcome. But be wise! Work hard not to get drawn into the wrong fight.

Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own. – Henry Ward Beecher

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, “All right, then, have it your way.” – C. S. Lewis

Do not be afraid to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness or bitterness. The longer you hide it, the stronger it will become and the harder your heart will grow. Stay tenderhearted. – John Bevere

TODAY’S PRAYER
Lord Jesus, I ask forgiveness for when I have wounded others in my need to be right. Help me to grow in my discernment, kindness, and wisdom in my journey to do your will. Thank you for your loving kindness. Amen.

Taken from 100 Days to Freedom from Anger copyright © 2021 by Stephen Arterburn and Becky Brown. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.